Conversation
between myself and my mother/guardian Anya
start
A. So what your project about Joey. I just don't understand why you are making these lines and poems.
J. I really don't know. McVey told me to look up the words bibliomancy and pilgrimage.... I got some ideas from those but nothing concrete.
[Told Anya about the definitions]
A. Well its sounds like you are confused about a lot of things
J. Yes I am. I guess I'm just so lost after losing Mom and just all this pressure to do so well. But what's worries me most is not knowing. I guess with this thesis I am trying to figure myself out. Like sort of map out my problems and try to find where the root is; to try and find a pattern within these poems.
A. So in a way this is like bibliomancy. You are looking for an answer to your problems.
J. Yeah I guess I am. I like the idea of recording my thoughts and feelings everyday. Just writing down little notes, nothing of large significance. But when I start a poem or page...thing... I just try to search for words of what I am feeling right then and there. So it is a kind of divination. Not necessarily looking to the future glass ball type of deal but something like it.
A. You have had a lot going on lately. Maybe this is something that some people are looking for?
J. Yeah. I think that most people who believe in something, try and find some kind sign to show them something. I guess that is what I'm looking for, a kind of message to make sense of it all.
maybe putting an enormous burden on the process, on the writing, the finding words and combinations of words (and even other elements, as discussed yesterday). the message if any may reside in the evolving process, rather than in any particular discovery/poem.
ReplyDeletethat said, if you can find order, pattern, musical resonance in this process and its results, that may be sufficient. that there is "order" there, that you helped bring it into the world, gave it form. the connection may be to music, rather than to some kind of truth able to be expressed in an eight-word telegram...
this is a good post. try some of the multiple page (and even multiple text) combinations that were discussed earlier. keep moving, stay loose.
The moment of change is the only poem.
ReplyDeleteAdrienne Rich
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